I must admit it changed a hell of a lot </3 I miss the old Tumblr.
I don’t know why but it’s really starting to hit me that I was an asshole for messing with his feelings like that…even if I didn’t mean to. Hell I’m still surprised he doesnt hate me and is still my close friend.
Yesterday didn’t even feel like the last day of school…no one was sad and I wasn’t either. What bothered me the most for some reason was that one of my best friends didn’t even say bye to me. I don’t even think he cares or even thought to see me before we all do our own things over summer. Not even a text or call from him. I know it’s just a farewell I’m being semi sad about but I just don’t want to be forgotten by the few close friends I have. I value my friends a lot…and I mean a lot. In my perspective, you can be the most best friend to me and later turn out to be the worst friend. Through all that I’ll still be there for you cause I will always care about you despite all the wrongs we do to each other.
My phone officially has bunny ears and some cute cases :) *winning*
Now I’m waiting for my uncle to send the other stuff ^-^
I swear my dad knows how to fucking make me feel like shit when it comes to school. He always says stuff to degrade me when it comes to academic topics. Hes always like “oh you won’t make it to blahblahblah university. Look at how stupid you are.” I’m already stressed with all this AP crap and now he’s just making it worse. I signed up for my SAT today and every minute I spent doing it my dad was beside me complaining and making me feel like shit. Well dad thanks a lot for being there for me.
Please, God give me the strength and will to keep living….You are my last hope.
Right now my mind is so jumbled up and fucked up. I can’t find any type of happiness. I see no point in anything. I just want to give up on everything. I feel like the past four years I’ve been living as someone else. I’ve been hiding this pain for too long and too well that I’m tired of it and I just don’t want to keep it up anymore. All the stress coming from school, home, and everything else are all suddenly weighing down on me I’m finding it hard to stop crying. I can’t even find a reason to smile or keep living. People fucked me over so many times in many different ways. I lost too many Ioved ones in my life…especially my mom. Without her, I just lose any motivation to do anything. I can’t even find a reason to keep living this joke of a life ive been living. Everyday I get worse and worse at keeping up with my conversations with friends. I feel like that friend that people only go to when it benefits them in some sort of way. I don’t want to continue living like this. I’m going through so much right now I can’t even express it through words. I have No one and never will. I am, and always have been, alone in this world.
Dang I remember I used to be on this 24/7 haha nowadays I’m too busy to get on here. Guess that’s life :( however tumblr will always have a special place in my heart 3 night everyone -muah*
